Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos attend the premiere of Netflix’s “A Series of Unfortunate Events” in New York in January. (ANGELA WEISS/AFP/Getty Images)
I guess this is where Kelly Ripa — rich, thin and famous — tries to let the adoring fans of her “Live on Kelly!” morning talk show know that, yes, she’s like the rest of us.
In that, she, too, doesn’t have a perfect sex life. In that, sometimes her husband — Mark Consuelos, her still boyishly cute former “All My Children” co-star and husband of 20 years — is not always the most engaged and attentive of lovers.
But enough already.
Ripa, 46, was back at it again on her show Wednesday morning, according to Us Weekly. With Consuelos, 45, returning to cohost, she tried to clarify comments she made when he was on the show two weeks ago.
On the February 8 show, she called him out for being “mean” to her after sex, Us Weekly reported. She definitely seemed to want viewers to know how “The Pitch” actor could be less than adequate in certain areas.
She said: “When there’s special married couple time in our house — do you know what I’m talking about? Because there’s kids watching, so I’m just going to say, let’s call it special grownup time. He’s immediately mean to me afterwards, and I don’t like that!”
She added: “I think it’s bizarre. He becomes short with me. You know what I mean? Like irritated.”
Consuelos, with whom Ripa has three children, 15 to 19, blushed and laughed along with the audience but turned even redder when she took one final swipe at him: “And I’m like, oh now you’re irritated? You were so loving three minutes ago.”
Ripa’s comments set the social media-scape ablaze — as she should have expected they would. Consuelos even said Wednesday that he got some cold stares from a group of women when he was in a restaurant in Dallas last week.
“They were looking at me like I was some monster,” he said.
Maybe because her comments were so well-publicized or maybe because she genuinely wanted to portray her husband in a better light, Ripa revisted the issue of their sex life on Wednesday’s show.
She started by saying: “I’m sorry! I was joking.” She added that, “This is a funny, irreverent show. I didn’t realize that it would become trending news.”
Sure, she didn’t.
Consuelos assured both viewers and his wife that he wasn’t bothered by his wife’s joke.
“I laughed,” he said. “I didn’t refute it because I thought it was the most ridiculous thing I ever heard. … I just wanted to set the record straight that no one can be mean after something if they are unconscious. I sleep.”
“Maybe that’s what I meant,” Ripa replied. “I didn’t really mean ‘mean.’ I meant completely disinterested, like sound asleep.”
Oh great: now we have just learned that Consuelos is the kind of guy who does the deed, rolls over and goes to sleep. Not a picture some people would want replaying in their head.
But to extend the bad-sex schtick Wednesday, Ripa joked that her husband, ever since, has been overcompensating, though she didn’t subject viewers to any details of how that overcompensation might be happening during the marital act.
She said instead that he’s attentive in more general ways, as in: “There’s odd conversations, like, ‘Do you want to watch the ‘Real Housewives?’ What do you want to do? Would you like pizza? Can I get you flowers?’”
“She’s not wrong,” Consuelos pitched in, laughing some more.
Ha ha. OK, we get it. Ripa and Consuelos have one of those playful relationships. They laugh and joke with each other a lot. And they have sex. That’s great. People are happy to see a couple with a long-lasting, loving marriage. Even if they are rich, good-looking and famous. So now can we move on?