Rosemary was driving home last night, when, bad luck, her car broke down. Catastrophe. Because she does not belong to a breakdown service. Luckily, she found a car insurance bill in the glove compartment and rang them on her prehistoric/newly chic mobile. They instructed her to ring someone else, who demanded £80 before they would move an inch to save her. “I need the long number on the front of your card,” said the breakdown lady, but Rosemary couldn’t read her card in the gloom without her glasses.
Luckily, an elderly chap with his little dog stopped to assist her. “Just a moment,” said Rosemary, “a gentleman has offered to help me. He’ll read it.”
“No, no!” shouted the horrified breakdown lady “Do not show your card number to a stranger!” But Rosemary had no choice, and so the stranger read out the numbers, and Rosemary spelled out her unusual surname, but what with his mumbling, the clash of accents between him and the breakdown lady and Rosemary’s impaired sight and hearing, communication was difficult, and anyway what street were they in? They didn’t have a clue. So Rosemary hailed a passing youth, which meant more spelling out of street names, confusion, and everyone getting into a bit of a temper, until, at last, the rescuers could be dispatched.
What luck that Rosemary’s son had given her a flask of soup, which kept her going through her three-hour ordeal. But this all goes to show why some older persons are not happy with the advance of technology, and needing your cards, smartphones, glasses and wits about you before you dare go out. Some are thinking: so why bother? You can shop, order food, receive medical advice, all online. No more meals on wheels, shops and post offices. You can just stay in alone forever and go quietly mad.
But don’t worry, you money-grubbing online, telephone-only councils, companies and vital services. Soon our rebellious old generation who balk at this automated, AI, remote-controlled world will be dead and gone. You don’t have long to wait. Then you can have it all without arguments. And I hope you like it.